Post-resurrective Counselling

I'm a fan of Order of the Stick, which for those of you who don't know is a D&D-based webcomic which is both funny and dramatic.

Anyway, in one of the most recent published compilations of OotS, Rich asks the sorts of questions one rarely hears about characters that have been brought back from the dead. 'If my corpse had dirt inside it, is that dirt still there?' 'Did my intestinal bacteria come back too, and if not, how do I get more?'

In another webcomic which is suspiciously D&D-like, called Zogonia, one of the characters returns from death to a body that is free of all the abuse he has inflicted on it over his life. Teeth he lost in a bar fight are back, all his ugly battle scars are gone, and so forth. One can assume his lungs are now restored from the years of hobgob pipeweed abuse. He immediately refuses to go into battle, because he doesn't want to damage his newly-restored skin.

Back in OotS, the resurrected character has a little trouble resuming his material life after months as a disembodied spirit. Specifically, he needs a reminder that movement is achieved by the use of legs, instead of gentle force of will. One imagines his re-introduction to the concept of physical discomfort was just as hilarious.

I think in an appropriately postmodern version of a setting with resurrection, there might well be facilities to help people through the difficult adjustment period. Yogurt shops for the intestinal bacteria. Tattoo parlors to get your essential art replaced. Helpful bullet points to remind you of all the foibles of the flesh. Maybe even a guy who gives you a little wound, so you aren't paralyzed by the need to keep your newfound perfection intact.